I keep trying to lose weight - but it keeps finding me!

I couldn't get myself out of bed this morning to go to the gym - so I went after work. I hate going to the gym after work because it is always seems so packed. It's a smaller "chain" gym - and it really makes me miss the Princeton Club in Madison!!

Anyway tonight when I was at the gym - I was doing weights - they have a lot of those weight machines that I was forced to use tonight being there was a class that closed off half of the gym that has the ab station - kettle bells - box jumps - exercise balls and some free weights.

Well, I was the only girl among 7 men that were using free weights and the weight machines. These machines make it super easy to switch the amount of weight, and you can be very incognito while doing it! So when I would wipe down the machine - I would increase the weight. For example instead of 220 on the leg press I would put it at 295 ... I didn't max out every single one of them (they would know that is a lie) - but I would put considerable more weight on there than normal - just to see if they noticed!

After the "weights" part of my workout - I went to the bike to cool down. As I was cooling down on the bike my back is turned to them - but I could still see them through the window. It was funny to see one guy go to the machines and motion to his friend to "check this out" and they both looked my direction. I just sat there peddling - smiling to myself - thinking "that's right - don't act like your not impressed!"

It's those little things like that that amuse me on a daily basis!

Icy sidewalks!

It was gorgeous again for the second day in a row! Sun was shining and temperatures were nice enough to have the snow melt!! With temperatures like these I figured I would go for a run outside. I came to this conclusion after I realized I left my gym bag at home - and I didn't want to change and then go back into my car to drive to the gym.

 

Running outside was a great idea in theory being it was still light out and above freezing - but underneath all of the melting snow ... was ice! Needless to say I started on my run - almost face planted once - turned around and walked back into my apartment. The person unloading their groceries gave me an odd look. Being they watched me psych myself up for a run, when literally 5 minutes later I am taking off my shuffle and walking back into my apartment! I would like to say it's the thought that counts - but if I could lose weight everything I think about working out - you would have to call me an Olson Twin!

 

I will say however, that I am proud of myself, becuase I grabbed my keys and did end up going to the gym - but I was really close to calling that 5 minutes good!

Car Problems!

I got held up at work late - it was my own fault - I got really into a project and wanted to finish it!

Last night when I was laying in bed - I heard a car that obviously had a bad muffler - and it brought back a time that had me laughing out loud! Yes, to myself, as I lay in bed - I'm cool like that!

Any who it was a few years back - when I was driving my 1989 Buick LaSabre - I could tell something was going wrong with the muffler because it was really really loud. My Dad told me to call Al's Auto Body and let them know - so I could take it in and have it checked out.

Now - I am not THAT BIG of an idiot when it comes to cars (such as I know I don't need blinker fluid, I can top off all my oils, I can change a tire) but after hearing this story, you will beg to differ.

Two things happened that same day to have this conclusion come to mind.

1. One of our outside house cats had gone missing.
2. My muffler exploded

That afternoon I call the Mechanic:

Mechanic: "Hello"
Me: "Hi (Stupid Introduction) There is something wrong with my Muffler."
Mechanic: "What seems to be the Problem?"
Me: "Well - it's really loud - and I am thinking that our cat somehow crawled into the Muffler - and well ... exploded? I don't know how he would have got himself in there - but I am pretty sure it's tail is dragging out of the exhaust pipe and there is fur busting out of all the seams!"
Mechanic: **Laughing SOOOOOOO hard he couldn't speak!**
Me: "Our cat went missing today..."
Mechanic: **Laughing so hard he barley gets out** "One Second"
--- I can hear him trying to tell the Mechanic 'the story' and Mechanic #2 come on the line---
Mechanic #2: I heard about your Muffler **Laughing** Lets set up a time to check out your car.

Obviously I know now - that a cat didn't explode in my muffler - and I wasn't even trying to be funny at the time - for some reason that was the best conclusion that I came to. I had never seen a muffler that had exploded - and didn't know that the insulation in there looked like fur from a blown/black cat.

Looking back on it now I don't know HOW that was the only conclusion I could come up with - or why it made so much sense when I was telling the mechanic? I know there are more reasons it couldn't happen than this - but clearly a cat wouldn't be able to fit through the exhaust into the muffler - but for about a half hour - it seemed legit.

Dating...

Today's post will come early. I woke up feeling a bit under the weather - and going to assume I was lucky enough to catch the cold that my niece had this weekend. I didn't feel the best last night - and slept for 3 hours when I got home. I woke up, made dinner and went back to bed and didn't get out of bed until 12:30 in the afternoon. I can honestly say that I feel well rested and actually feel a lot better!

Well what is today's post going to consist of? Last night when I woke up from my nap - I get a call from home. Typically there are two reasons why home would call me the day I leave:

1. If I forgot to call them and let them know I made it home safe.
2. I forgot something at home - and it would be something that I would need.

Well, it was neither of these reasons. I debated if I wanted to post this - because I couldn't decide if it was funny or sad, being the phone call was my Dad. He said that he had made me an account on Christian Mingle - put in my zip code, and started looking up men in the area for me. He went on to tell me about a guy on the account that he wanted me to message - because he felt that he would be a great guy - and we were a 96% match! He read me his about me, he was tall and a teacher - an all-around good guy - and good looking. Basically my dad had already approved!

Now:

• -- I did find it to be funny - that my Dad made me an account on a dating website - and I will say the guy he was telling me to message - really was a good looking guy! Unfortunately he doesn't drink, and he would expect the same from his partner. I don't go out like I used to in college - but I am not going to give up having a drink when I want one.
• -- I also didn't know if it was kind of sad? My Dad went onto a dating website to try and find me a guy? I guess looking back on some of the guys I have dated (or lack thereof guys I have dated) I guess I could use some help!

After it is all said and done - I actually found it to be rather cute/sweet of him. He took the time to make an account for me and look though guys because I am "just too good of a catch to be single" - I would like to say that is something that most parents out there would not do!

Many find it to be funny - which I do! Others find it to be sad - I just like to think that I am loved :)

On that note - if you have an eligible bachelor you would like to set me up with - I'm game! I will be up here to start my masters - but ideally will be moving back closer to home after I complete it :)

'Merica

I woke up - drove 7 hours - and took a nap ... I am not going to put much thought into the blog - so I will share a video I made for my friend Katie. She requested "God Bless America" - after I danced to N'Sync for April (that will be a different blog), and next will be Alyssa requested Justin Bieber (Again - that will be a different blog).

Enjoy :)

Swiss Cake Rolls - Little Piece of Heaven!

There were a couple "Oldie but Goodie" stories that came up today - this one will be short and sweet.

Disclaimer: I was to young to actually remember this incident. I would like to think I have some faint memories of it - but I think it's just because I hear it so many times - that I convince myself that I somewhat remember this.

In order to tell this story, you need to know an embarrassing little background piece of information that I normally don't tell people. (It's even worse than telling people I used to look like Cory Matthews, from Boy Meets World, but that will be it's own separate blog.) When I was younger I was in the 15-20% of kids who used to wet the bed.

Now, another piece of information that you need to know - is that when I was little - I liked those 'Little Debbie Snack Cakes.' When I say I liked them - I mean I was obsessed with them. My birthday cake one year was just a pan full of the 'Swiss Cake Rolls!' It was amazing!

Well - on with the story! When I was little, if I woke up 'dry' I was able to enjoy a snack cake for breakfast. There was one particular morning that I was sooooooooooo excited when I woke up dry - that I took off my diaper - and apparently didn't have time to put on clothes! I ran out to the kitchen - straight to the cupboard that housed the snack cakes and started eating a delicious Swiss Cake Roll - Butt Naked! When asked why I was sitting naked eating breakfast - I stated that I didn't want to see my underwear!

So I guess if you read my post from a couple days ago - I still find it important to hide my underwear! haha

I need a Truck!

I don't have anything new - that I can think of, but here is a rather amusing story from a while ago that I never shared because well – I kind of wasted money. When I say kind of – I mean I should have taken the 7 dollars and 34 cents and donated it to the Chicago Bears to recruit in a decent quarterback. ;)

Anyway – it all started with a simple Pinterest idea. A woman took a picture of her family and got the picture enlarged by ordering it as an engineer print. The quality isn’t top notch and it has to be black and white – but hers looked really good! She made it sound incredibly easy, so I figured it was something I could handle! The following day I go online and find a place that does engineer prints, and order 2 pictures in the largest size they have – 3 feet by 4 feet.

In the time I spent waiting for the pictures to come in – I have read more and more stories on different ways people have mounted engineer prints. Many had somehow glued it onto wood, but when pricing wood – I figured there had to have been a cheaper way! I ran across one who said they glued it onto Styrofoam, being Styrofoam is cheaper I headed into The Home Depot! (It’s funny how everyone is suddenly busy when I walk in. For some reason they don’t appreciate walking around with me for an hour while I pull up Pinterest Ideas on my phone and ask them what I would need in order to ‘make this’ or ‘make that.’ Most all of the time, I realize I don’t have any of the tools that would be needed to actually complete any of the projects, so I leave empty handed and they had wasted an hour of their lives.)

Well this time I was on a mission – I walk over and pick up a piece of their finest Styrofoam. Actually it wasn’t their finest - it was 4 foot by 8 foot and kind of beat up so I talked them down in price. After I got the price down I asked if they could cut it in half for me and I was on my way. I was pretty excited as I headed out to my car. I remember thinking how great it would be to finish up a project that had been taking up a lot of room in my apartment and how I talk them down in price LIKE A BOSS!

As I approach my car – that feeling quickly fades. Reality sinks in that I drive a little 2 door Cobalt. I must have tried for a good 5 minutes to get that Styrofoam in my car – and I probably would have tried longer if I hadn’t noticed that car that decided watching me suffer was more fun that going on their merry little way. (BTW I would NOT be surprised if there is a YouTube video out there about the girl who didn’t give up trying to get 2 oversized pieces of damn Styrofoam in her car!) By this time myself, my car, and the parking lot were completely COVERED in Styrofoam pieces. So I took the Styrofoam in both hands, give it a good hard whack against my knee, and threw it in my trunk! I got in my car, drove back to the apartment, opened the trunk and unloaded the Styrofoam right out into the dumpster!

I got back into my apartment – nailed the sheets of paper to the wall – put my feet up and called it good!

Sugar Daddy for Me?

My family and I were sitting and talking this afternoon - We got on the subject of dating and dating websites - and it brought back an unfortunate phone call that I still laugh about!

It was probably 5 years ago - or so - that my Sister in Law Jenny and myself were watching a show titled: "How Did You Get So Rich?" One of the guys on the show stated that he made his money after starting the website called "Sugar Daddy For Me" - so naturally we decided to check it out.

Well a couple years ago, after a bottle of wine, curiosity got the best of me again. I wanted to see if there were any gorgeous Sugar Daddy's in the area - who were waiting to meet me. I went back to the website and found that you can't search people - without being a member. I was in luck however, being you could have a 3 day Free Trail on the website! Winning!

I signed up - with all intensions to cancel my Free Trial before they charged me. This is where things got tricky ... I could not simply 'cancel' my account. I tried calling and emailing them multiple times, with absolutly NO luck. After googling what I should do - I found I was not the only one who was having/had this problem - and also found that the only way to 'cancel' my account would be to call the bank and have them not accept payment. Losing!

This single phone conversation was one of the most embarrassing phone conversations I have ever had. For those of you who do not know, I grew up in a small little unincorporated, you blink you miss it, town. It's the type of town where you know everyone - and their family! Well this town is also where I bank - so they know who I am.

I called into the bank and let them know I needed to cancel/stop a payment that I didn't want to come from my account.
Bank: "When is the payment supposed to come out - and how much is it for?"
Me: "It would be coming out tomorrow and it is 34.95"
Bank: "Who is the payment supposed to to go to"
Me: "Ahhh - well - it would be SD4ME.com"
Bank: "Ok and what is that company"
Me: "Ummm well - it's ah - Sugar Daddy For Me"
Bank: SILENT
Me: And ah - it's supposed to take out monthly - can you cancel any payments?
Bank: (Laughing) Ah OK Sarah, we got that taken care of for you!

I laugh at the situation now - but at the time it was rather humilitating!

Who is this Moderation I am Supposed to Drink With?

So I am back at my parents for my sisters double Baby Shower this weekend.

Tonight my Bestie Katie brought her dashing good looks along with a box of the finest wine Franzia has to offer.

Keeping it Classy :)

That lovely day of the year....

Nothing gets me more revved up for a day than knowing I have a gynecologist appointment to occupy my afternoon. Sorry guys, I won’t get into the nitty gritty about the appointment – even though I am sure you are DYING to know about it!

I did find out that I am shrinking and I blame it on the cold weather! I went in today and I am measuring up to just a hair under 5 foot 7 ½ inches?!?! I used to be a solid 5 foot 8! I am really not all to depressed about the situation – being I like to wear heels, but feel the need for everyone to know. I will say however, that the nurse didn’t know how to take the comment I made about the shrinking due to cold weather – I would like to believe she found it amusing.

Anyhow - After all the initial questions are answered about yourself and your family’s history – they take a few vitals and ask you to change into the ever-so-loved hospital gown. As I am changing - I think to myself – I am here for a gynecologist appointment – she is going to see EVERYTHING – yet I make sure to hide any undergarments! I don’t know why, but I would feel more uncomfortable for her to see those – then for her to … well you know … see everything else.

Now, I don’t know what runs through anyone else’s mind when you are sitting in your ‘Spring Time Snuggie’ (AKA the hospital gown), but I tend to think about my plan of action in case of a fire. It was COLD (-10) today, that gown isn’t going to provide much for warmth. Depending on the situation I play out in my head - if I don’t have time to put on my clothes – I am guessing I won’t have time to lace up all the latches in the back either. I could grab my coat – but I made the mistake of not putting on a long coat this morning, should have thought that through more! I thought about how I will stay warm if the clinic goes up in flames – but the chances of that actually happening are slim. Maybe there will be a gorgeous single Doctor to warm me up – or Firefighter? Wouldn’t that be a fun story to tell people how you met!

Any who mid evacuation plan – the Doctor comes in for the real fun to begin. I will end with the details of my hospital visit here –being well – yeah….. Even when trying to make conversation – it’s a little awkward when everything is getting ah – checked out. 

 

For those of you who want to know - this is what I picture for the Firefighters coming to the rescue: 

 

 

On that note - Excuse me while I light my Apartment on fire ;)

 

Patience?

If people were to describe me - patience would not rank very high on the list of traits I have. Even if I am not in a hurry - I have a hard time driving or walking behind people who are moving slow. Sitting in a car - waiting in line to get into an event is the worst. I am like a kid and need to have games or a coloring book to keep me occupied until we reach our destination. Actually a coloring book or a couple beers. Wait! I take that back - coloring book AND a couple beers = Happy Sarah! :) Friends can attest to this!

 

So Why does this ecard have the privilege of making my blog today? Well, I have and always had trouble with staying focused, or calm, or on task, or remembering what I am talking about mid sentence. I would be lying if I said I was able to finish this blog in one setting - but I have actually had multiple breaks! It's pathetic when I say I have spent 3 hours on a blog - and the final result is something a 5th grader would doodle while taking notes in Spanish Class. I never wanted to go in and get tested for ADD until I actually read up on symptoms of ADD and realized they followed me around for a day to write their description. I figured it couldn't hurt to go in and talk about it - and see if it was something I needed. For those who do not know the process of getting tested for ADD is daunting. I really don't see why the Doctor can't just follow me around for a day or week? I guess they have lives too - but answering a '567 True or False' questionnaire is inhumane! I think they leave the paperclips in there as temptation - and temptation got the best of me! If I was able to take my phone in with me - I would have got a couple pictures of the ring I made, and the flower - well and my name spelled out with clips. In case you were wondering the R was the hardest letter to make - because there were 'kinks' in the worst spots!

So other than work - that was the extent of my day. Well that and driving to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner and seeing people walking back to their cars with the wind/snow blowing and realizing I wasn't that hungry!

Welp - Breaking Bad isn't going to watch itself! I hope everyone had a great Monday! Until Tomorrow - Keep Smiling! :)

..... and so it begins

People have been telling me for a while that I need to start a blog or a video channel to talk about my daily thoughts/happenings. Being a video channel would require me to put on make-up - I figured I would stick to a blog. This way I can just tell you all how ungodly gorgeous I look at any given moment, and being you can’t see me, you’d have no reason to not believe it. :)

I would like to say that starting the blog can be tricky! I mean first you have to Google different places that offer free blogs. Finally, after you figure out a site where you can actually use it, come the HARDEST PART – naming your blog? Ey Ey Ey – trying to think up something creative and witty is harder than I thought it would be. I decided to keep it original – so naturally I turned to Google to help me come up with a unique “blog name.”  I am going to go out on a ledge here and say that I am not the only person who had a hard time coming up with a name for my blog – being there are PAGES of sites on Google that help people name their blogs. Unfortunately, the pages of ‘helpful websites’ are anything but helpful, so back to attempting to name it myself.

Many sites made the suggestion to pick a name that is going to be the common “theme” of your blog. Well if you know me at all – there isn’t a common theme about me! Girls – each and every one of you can blame me when guys say women are hard to figure out – I can’t figure myself out! One day I could easily be talking about how I love to go to the gym and eat healthy – while the next day I am eating my feelings, in the form of Ben and Jerry’s, while watching a chick flick. These days the only type of exercising I am going to accomplish is ‘Diddly Squats!’

With that said – there isn’t going to be a common ‘trend’ to my blog – I might be just as surprised as you with what I decide to post that day. It could be a craft, an amusing “Sarah Story,” a video, a picture, a poem, a quote – I guess it will depend on what the day holds!

Oh and BTW I didn’t come up with the name for this blog – my bestie Katie mentioned it – and I felt it was fitting!

I hope you enjoy “The Daily Dirty – with Turbo” as much as I enjoy writing in it and keeping you entertained. If you don’t enjoy the blog – don’t tell me – simply don’t read it :) I don’t care for negativity!